lissalinn's Xanga

Monday, August 03, 2009

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 22:53:17 GMT

I don't know what to think or how to think. things are just all over the map and I don't know what to do. I kinda know what to do I'm just not sure how to get from point a to point b and well that makes things confusing.

love ya!

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 00:35:44 GMT

I really wish that things weren't so hard in life. That things were just a little bit easier to deal with. I mean it was just one of those all of a sudden everything went to hell in a handbasket real quick like. I don't know exactly know where everything went to pieces. I just really didn't see it coming like that and it was like getting hit by a truck then a train and then the ambulance that was coming to save you all at once. I just don't know where it's gonna go. I have a few things that I need to go do so maybe later I'll be back to add.

love ya! and i really mean it.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:48:43 GMT

I'm sitting here trying to wrap my head around everything and it just makes it worse. There's a piece of silk wisteria sitting in front of me a painful reminder of what's happened in the last two weeks. It's all that's left of a broken and crushed dream of the wedding I wanted. The one I had thought would be perfect but now that's all that I have left. I still have the rings, the boy and the hopes of getting married just nor with the wedding and the family and friends.

I'll come back later to lick the wounds of my broken heart.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 02:25:35 GMT

I'm so sore. I spent 7 hours today cleaning out the back room to only get the stuff off the floor and then two and a half shelves clean. It's kinda like in the Green mile where they clean out that room and they have all that stuff in there. Except I'm doing it by myself. They kept sending people to help me but no one that really would have been a help. Justin would be the only one worth helping me and he had the day off because he went to the Astros game last night. But I knew that.

more later when i ever get a chance.

love ya!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:02:02 GMT

Obviously the boy and I aren't good at hiding it. Multiple people that we work with have asked us. The thing is they always get one of us off from the other to ask. I tried to hide it the first time I got asked but slowly sank that ship when Jessica point blank ask me is it...I couldn't hide it then. We told Joe_K though because we figured it would keep Rusty off our back. Before we could bring it up though as a sit down he asked and you can't lie when the boss asks.

There are too many things going on so I don't even know where to start. Of course it would be better if I could really have time to talk about it. But I love spending time with the boy more than anything else. Even giving up some sleep to stay snuggled up with him. It's great that I found someone that I love as much as him and that loves me too.

Now we have some people that we work with who have gone a little far though. We came back from lunch on Saturday and one of the guys that works at back hardware started sniffing the boy. And then asked what is was like. We've gone from being just friends to sleeping together in no time flat according to the people that we work with. I mean it wouldn't bother me so much but to sniff him and ask that when we come back from lunch on Saturday. Of course the boy only tells me these things a few days after the fact. Partly because he knows that it upsets me. But they don't say those things in front of me or to me, only to him. Anyway things to do before the boy gets here.

love ya!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 13:00:13 GMT

Its been a long time since I've been on here. I haven't had a chance because well I found a boy and so I spend every waking minute at work or with him. And since we work together pretty much all my time is spent with him. And probably for a long time I'll be spending all my time with him. I'd love to spend more time talking about him and all the things that I love about him but I've got other things to do.

love ya!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Tue, 26 May 2009 22:36:51 GMT

This morning I overstepped. I took something that had been weighing on my mind and I let it out. Of course the minute I sent the text I had to send one that I said I was sorry. Because I was. I said something that I never should have said. I should never have said it to a friend.

Of course he said that it was okay. But I still know that I overstepped. I wish that he weren't so forgiving.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Mon, 18 May 2009 23:01:12 GMT

I'm still not sure if I'm gonna be happier that Monica or Stephen's back. I was hoping that he'd be back today but since tomorrow's his day off, I guess he figured it'd be better to tack on one more day to his vacation. I'm just getting sick of this crap.

It's just something I don't have time for. I have so many other things on my plate right now.

love ya!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sun, 17 May 2009 18:16:56 GMT

I've got a little bit of time to try and write whatever it is that I can. There are about a dozen other things that I need to be doing right now but I've got so much on my mind that I can't deal with everything. I still can't deal with it even though I know that I need to write to get it all out.

I'm so sick of feeling like this because I can't deal with having my mind so full but it's full of nothing. I mean now that I have this chance to write I can't do it. I've got writer's block again. Right now I'm bouncing back and forth trying to get everything taken care of on Facebook so that I can get everything back to zero.

Right now I'm so frustrated with work because I just can't get past everything. I need things to slow down...that's the problem actually is that things have slowed down and now I'm getting hell for it. I'm getting hell for talking to my coworkers and I think in the long run for being nice to them. Maybe on occasion I defend one of them but that's something I have to do. I have to stick up for these guys because they've got my back. And if they don't have my back my job is going to be hell. I take that back it's already hell it'll just be worse if they aren't on my side. Time's up.

love ya!

addiction...

Fri, 15 May 2009 22:49:35 GMT

I've been thinking about addiction lately because I've had a little free time that I've been tying to take advantage of. But really what I've been thinking about is pretty ironic I guess but being addicted to church.

I really never thought it would be possible but I was watching King of the Hill the other night and the episode I was watching made me think about it even more. Peggy and Hank start going to a mega-church because there was some mishap in their old church.

Peggy immediately feels the need to get involved in whatever she can. Before it's all said and done church is consuming their lives. Peggy is so involved that the preacher starts hiding from her whenever he can because she's become so zealous. Hank just doesn't feel the same way that church should consume every moment of his life.

Hank starts getting involved in groups that start taking over his free time. But not because he's choosing them but because someone else has said that he should be involved.

It made me wonder what makes someone addicted to church>